Making Space For What Matters Most
Do You Know What Your Actual Capacity Is?
Like most clients I’m working with these days, you probably don’t.
And it’s not your fault.
For decades, our culture has praised busyness and burnout. We’ve internalized messages like “I’ll sleep when I’m dead,”or “If I don’t do it, no one will.” We’ve been conditioned to say yes to everything—no matter the cost. We keep achieving for the sake of achieving. We ignore what matters most. And we’re left bone-tired, wondering why we can’t keep up.
But what if your capacity was never meant to include everything?
Knowing your personal capacity isn’t just about managing your calendar—it’s about honoring your limits and letting go of unrealistic expectations. It’s understanding the difference between what absolutely must be done today and what can wait (or be let go of altogether). It’s recognizing that you can’t do everything—and that’s not just okay, it’s necessary.
One client I’m currently working with is in the thick of this work. They're starting to realize that much of what they thought they should be doing isn’t actually sustainable in this season of life. There’s a real grief in that—grieving the version of yourself who could do it all (or felt like you had to), and making peace with your current reality.
In my last post LINK, I talked about work-life harmony. This concept of personal capacity builds on that idea.
Here’s a simple way I help clients visualize it:
Your Capacity is a Bucket
And that bucket has four key areas:
Self-Care – Physical, mental, and emotional care
Relationships – Family, friends, and community connections
Work & Responsibilities – Career, volunteering, parenting, commitments
Personal Growth & Joy – Hobbies, creativity, learning, rest
Your version of this bucket will be unique. What fills you up may drain someone else—and that’s the point. This isn’t about productivity. It’s about clarity.
When you start identifying your true capacity, you begin to:
Reduce decision fatigue
Discern what’s essential vs. what’s optional
Say “yes” and “no” with confidence—without guilt
This work is how we move from surviving to thriving.
Try This: A Moment of Self-Reflection
In Acceptance and Commitment Coaching, one powerful tool is connecting with your values and noticing where your current actions are aligned—or not.
Take a quiet moment to reflect:
What truly matters most to you right now?
Where in your life are you overcommitted in ways that pull you away from those values?
What’s one small action you can take this week to honor your capacity and realign with what matters?
This isn’t about doing more. It’s about doing what matters—within your limits.
Want to Go Deeper? Let’s Talk
If you're feeling stretched thin, unsure what to let go of, or ready to redefine what thriving looks like for you, I’d love to connect.
I offer a free Alignment Session—a 15-minute call to talk about where you are, where you want to be, and how coaching can support your next steps. Just fill out the form linked below to get started.
